Marriage from A to Z

Principles for a Successful Marriage

“Can I Have Your Undivided Attention?”


Cell phone, cell phone, cell phone!  Have you ever had dinner with someone, and they were constantly checking their cell phone?  Maybe someone was trying to have a conversation with you, but as soon as you heard the sound of a new message, your attention went away from the person right in front of you and onto your phone.  How many of you know what I am talking about?  I know because I have been on both sides of the fence.  This week I want to encourage you to give your undivided attention. Wherever you go, be FULLY present.  I realize that this can be a challenge, but we must work hard to achieve this goal, because not being FULLY present over time, can destroy a relationship.

Achieving this goal may require putting your phone down, turning the cell phone off or waiting until you are alone to check your phone.  Realize that you do not have to answer every call and text right away.  Be intentional about connecting with the person who is in your presence.  Ask questions that will stimulate conversation.  Have you ever seen a table where everyone had their heads down, and their eyes on their cell phones, and no one was talking? Some of our youth don’t know how to initiate or carry  a conversation because less is being said.  Correction, not just our youth, some adults too!

It has been said many times; “One of the greatest gifts that you can give is your undivided attention.”  When we pay more attention to our phones than to the person right in front of us, we are taking a few things for granted:  1) We assume that it is alright with the person or we just don’t care.  2) We are not valuing the precious time that we have in that person’s presence. What if this is their last conversation or your last time in their presence?  We really don’t know. 3) I know we don’t like to think of it this way, but it really shows a lack of respect. (ouch!)

Giving your undivided attention means you are spending time in a person’s presence without sharing your attention with something or someone else.  In this case, your cell phone.  It could also be the television that is stealing your attention from your loved ones.  Don’t cause your loved ones to starve for your attention, give it to them. Your husband, wife, son, daughter, significant other or any human being is valuable, and each of us must value the time that we get to spend in their presence. If we don’t value their presence, someone else will.  We must bring our ears, eyes and heart to the relationship. Take time to see, hear and feel what is being said.  This is the value of talking to someone in person.  When we rely on a text, email or a phone conversation to communicate, we may not get a full understanding of what is really being said,

God ALWAYS gives us His undivided attention, we must do the same with others.  Wherever you go, be fully present.  Remember, people appreciate when you give your undivided attention!

Until next week. . .



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