Marriage from A to Z

Principles for a Successful Marriage

“Marriage Won’t Change Him/Her!”


     While you are dating/courting you happen to notice a bad habit.  Perhaps you are seeing the habit for the first time so you try to ignore it, and tell your self that it really isn’t as bad as it seems.  You hope and pray that they won’t do it while they are around you.  You convince yourself to keep seeing this person because, “you believe you can get them to change.”  So you get engaged and proceed with the marriage, hoping that marriage will make them change.

In my experience of being married for almost 20 years and in working with couples,  I have to say;  “Marriage won’t change him or her.”  A person can put on their best behavior for a short period of time but after spending long periods of time with them, day after day, year after year, if the bad habit is there, it will come out!  Now we know that no one is perfect and that, we all have some habits that need to be changed.  However, I am talking about bad habits that will alter a person’s behavior, how they treat you or  habits that affect their commitment in marriage.  Habits such as; sexual addictions, pornography, alcohol, drug, gambling and even a shopping addiction can cause major damage.

In most cases, God reveals the bad habit before marriage.  However, many still say; “I do” because the desire to be married is so great!  After a few months or years of dealing with the same addiction, most people say; “I want out.”  They encourage their spouse to change and maybe even threaten them (“If you don’t stop, I will leave”).  Unfortunately, we don’t have the power to change a person.  Marriage won’t change do it.

God is the only One who has the power to change a person!  Marriage won’t change them but God will!  II Corinthians 5:17 says; “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”   You can talk to a person until you are blue in the face but that won’t change them.  They may do right for a minute, but that doesn’t last.  Only Christ can bring about a real, permanent change.

So if you or someone you know are in need of a change or a bad habit to be broken.  Take the matter to God and be committed to praying.  Prayer changes things and prayer changes people.  God can take bad habits and turn them into good habits.  The closer we get to Jesus, the more He changes us.  A wonderful change can come over any of us!  God is able, keep believing Him!

Until next week . . .




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One thought on ““Marriage Won’t Change Him/Her!”

  1. Janice Octavia Nelson on said:

    Thank you Carolyn! I am a testimony of Praying Change! I recognize the change has to start with me. Not just believing God can change my Babe, but knowing and trusting Him in the change (Active Faith). Praising Him for your POST!
    Yours Truly,
    A Changed HelpMate

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