“Married but Practicing Celibacy?”
One of the reasons why many Christians look forward to getting married is to enjoy sex with their husband/wife, and to end celibacy. Therefore, it is hard to believe that there are couples who are married and practicing marital celibacy. This week I would like to address the issue of celibacy within marriage and encourage anyone who may be having this experience by force. In other words, its not by your choice.
So lets be clear on what is marital celibacy? It is defined as; “A sex less marriage and a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between the two spouses.” God created sex for marriage, and it is definitely something that is good. I am aware that as a couple gets older, their sexual activity can slow down or a couple may have a health challenge or illness that prevents them from being sexually active. If this is the case, pray and ask God to reveal other ways to enjoy your spouse. The goal should be to make your spouse’s needs and interests a priority. However, if you are experiencing marital celibacy because you or your spouse are tired, angry, struggling with not forgiving one another or God forbid, involved with someone else, this is a problem.
I Corinthians 7 says; “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” This passage reminds us that affection is due to the spouse and that the husband/wife should render.
On many occasions, I have stated that God is the glue that holds a marriage together. However, sex is the glue that bonds a husband and wife together in a special way. God created sex to be enjoyed within the walls of marriage. As often as a husband and wife participates, it brings them closer together. It is so important for a husband and wife to have regular sexual relations because the sexual union helps to keep their relationship in a class by itself and makes it different from any other human relationship. The enemy of marriage does not want this union to take place therefore, he does things to make married couples practice celibacy.
It is so important that both the husband and wife are getting their sexual needs met with their own spouse. Neither spouse should be making the other one wait for days, weeks and sometimes months before they are sexually active.The Bible tells us not to deprive one another. Depriving your spouse on a regular basis creates other problems. The spouse who wants to be intimate can feel; unwanted, undesired and unloved. If this is a serious issue in your marriage, I highly recommend marriage counseling.
I pray that God blesses all of the married couples to be sexually active and to practice pleasing their spouse. I pray that any couples who are experiencing health challenges that prevent them from having sex be encouraged to hang in there and find other ways to please each other. I pray that the singles/engaged couples will wait until they are married in Jesus’ Name, amen!
Until next week . . .
Carolyn
Marriage from A to Z 