Marriage from A to Z

“Improper Thoughts”

Have you ever had an improper thought come to your mind?  Improper meaning a bad or inappropriate thought that you have no business thinking, something that is evil or contrary to what God would have you to think.  If we are honest, we all have had an improper thought at some point.  These thoughts can come at any time and at any place.   If they are not properly handled, improper thoughts can turn into improper actions.  Both can negatively affect your relationship with God, your spouse, family and your friends.  This week’s post addresses improper thoughts.

Improper Scenarios:  You are single and have an improper thought about some one else’s husband/wife.  You are married and an improper thought about someone who is not your spouse comes to mind.  You are angry and an evil thought for revenge comes to your mind.  You are in a financial bind and an improper thought comes to mind.  The thing about improper thoughts is that it doesn’t have a respect of persons.  Both Christians and non Christians can have improper thoughts, anyone at any time or place.

The question is what do you do when you have an improper thought? If you don’t handle the improper thoughts correctly, they will cause damage.   Improper thoughts that are acted upon usually cause hurt and pain for all of the parties involved.    One of the things that makes an improper thought even worst is when it is written or expressed on social media.  Social media usually involves putting the improper thought in writing or adding a visual, in other words, it is documented.  Marriages, families and relationships are being destroyed and it all started with an improper thought.  

What should you do when the thoughts come to mind?

1. Pray and ask God to please take the thought out of your mind.  II Corinthians 10:5-6 says, “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”
2. Replace the bad thought with a good thought.  Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.”
3.  Don’t allow the thought to turn to an action.  Galatians 5:16 says, “I say then walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”
4. Sometimes you may need to share the thought with someone who will pray with you or hold you accountable to doing the right thing.  
5. Realize that bad thoughts come, but they don’t have to stay.  Feed your mind with good stuff. (Prayer, the Word of God, Good music, etc.)
6. Realize that the job of the enemy is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) so improper thoughts that turn into improper actions can cause major damage.
7. Don’t let the thoughts linger.  Be quick to get them out of your mind.
8. Don’t put improper thoughts on Social Media.  (Don’t text them,  don’t tweet them, Instagram them, etc.) . This is permanent documentation and you never know where it goes or who sees it.
9. If the thoughts keep coming to your mind, you may have to get some help through counseling. Proverbs 11:14 says, where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
10. Renew your mind with the Word of God on a daily basis.  Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

We all have improper thoughts, but we must be self-controlled and properly handle our thoughts.  This is very important because improper thoughts can lead to improper actions.  Improper actions hurt people, relationships, marriages and families.  We have to handle our thoughts in such a way that God would be pleased.  How are you doing with your improper thoughts?

Until next week. . .

Carolyn