Marriage from A to Z

“You’re Angry, Now What?”

Anger is an emotion that we all have experienced at some point. One thing about it you don’t always know when this emotion will happen. It could be at work, in a store, at home, school or even at church. Perhaps it was something that was said or done that just caused you to be angry. You may even be angry right now. Many are angry because life isn’t going the way that they would like. Major things are happening in our world and you may even have some major things happening in your relationships. Anger is inevitable, but the question is; “What do you do with your anger? In other words, “How do you handle your anger?” Is God pleased?

Are you one to tell a person off, curse them out, get physical, slam the door in their face, destroy things, give the silent treatment, walk off and disappear or just simply cut the person off?

Your response to this question is very important. God is concerned with the way that you handle your anger. In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says, “Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” This verse says that we can be angry, but after the anger, we should not sin or behave in such a way that doesn’t bring glory and honor to God. It is best to go somewhere and cool off then to allow your anger to get the best of you. Often times, people regret their behavior if they act upon their anger too quickly. God has given us his Spirit to help us exercise self-control.

How you handle your anger often affects other people. When you get angry with your spouse, your behavior after the anger determines a lot. If you are a parent, how you handle anger, affects your children. Not only that, wherever you are when anger occurs, you have to be mindful of your response. You could be at work or at church. Someone is always watching your response.

What to do when you are angry?

A = Allow yourself time to cool off and process your anger.

N = Never go to bed angry. Even if the issue is not resolved, release it to God and choose not go to bed angry. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.

G = Go to God in prayer. Cast all of your cares and feeling on the LORD. Listen for God to tell you how to respond. Being angry is often a time for us to exercise forgiveness.

E = Exemplify godly behavior. In other words, respond in a way that God would be proud. When you have God’s Holy Spirit living inside of you, He will help you!

R = REMEMBER that God sees and knows everything you say and do. Think about how your response or behavior will impact others in the present and future.

A NOTE FOR SINGLES: If you are dating/courting you need to know how your significant other handles his/her anger before you marry them. You may want to ask how did his/her parents handle their anger. This is worth discussing. It may be a factor that has shaped the way that he/she responds to anger. How one handles their anger could make or break the relationship.

Until next week . . .

Carolyn