Marriage from A to Z

“Marriage Report Card”

     Happy New Year!  When was the last time you received a report card?  We all know that a report card is a history or record of performance or accomplishment that is usually adjudged by someone else.  Well it’s time for you and your spouse to evaluate your performance and accomplishments over the last year and see how you can get straight A’s for the 2014 Marriage year.

     Think about 2013.   What went well in your marriage and what would you like to see improve?  How can you be a better husband or a better wife?  Ask your spouse how are you doing? Encourage each other to answer honestly and be willing to take in whatever your spouse has to say without getting upset.  If you don’t know how you are doing, how can you know how to improve?  Sometimes we don’t ask our spouse how we are doing because we really don’t want to hear the answer.

     This week I want to encourage you to create your own report card, if not on paper, do it orally.  Come up with the categories (examples:  listening to each other, serving one another, intimacy, home chores, keeping yourself together, praying together, etc.) that are important to your marriage and grade yourself, then allow your spouse to grade you.  Sometimes we think that we are being an “A” student when really we are missing the mark.  Your work must please your spouse!  Remember you made a vow to the Lord that you would forsake all others for your spouse. Therefore, it is very important that you strive for excellence and earn straight A’s.  God is holding you accountable for how you love, treat, respect, and honor your spouse.  After you take the time to evaluate your marriage and how things are going, you may find that you don’t have straight A’s.  If this happens, pray and ask God and your spouse to tell you how you can do better.  Your goal is to get a good marriage report card.

     Pastor John K. Jenkins often says, “If you keep doing things the same way, you will keep getting the same results.”   So my question to you is, what are you willing to do differently?  What changes are you willing to make?  Often times we are so quick to come up with changes that we want our spouse to make but we have no control over that.  With God’s help, we can only work on ourselves.  We should strive to please God and to please our spouse.

     The following are some questions that I found in my marriage supply that are good to discuss as you evaluate your marriage.

     Questions Every Wife Should Ask Her Husband Annually by Jeannie Elliff

• Is there anything I can change to make our home a place where you feel more satisfied and comfortable?
• What can I do to show you how much I need and trust you?
• Do you feel I properly understand the goals that God has placed in your heart?  How can I help you achieve them?
• How do you envision our future together?  What can we do together to achieve that goal?
• Are there any big dreams in your heart that you have been hesitant to share with me?  How can I help you fulfill them?
• How do you feel we can begin communicating better than we already are?
• Is there anything that I am doing or failing to do that seems to send a signal that I do not honor you or your leadership in our home?
• What are some things I can do to regularly show you just how satisfied I am with you as my husband and the leader of my home?

 Questions Every Husband Should Ask His Wife Annually by Tom Elliff

• What could I do to make you feel more loved?
• What could I do to make you feel more respected?
• What could I do to make you more secure?
• What could I do to make you feel more understood?
• What attribute would you like me to develop?
• What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?
• What achievement in my life would bring you greatest joy?

Until next week  . . .

Carolyn