Marriage from A to Z

Principles for a Successful Marriage

Do you believe people when they show you who they are?


Have you ever dated someone who’s actions showed that they are not consistent, has anger issues, not good with money, don’t really love you, habitually tells lies, are not faithful to you nor to God, not responsible and doesn’t do relationships well? These are all red flags and should not be ignored.  Dating this person is one thing, but when you decide to marry, it’s another thing.  The problem occurs when you see the red flags but still decide to marry this person and then expect them to be different.   The message for this week is based on Dr. Maya Angelou’s famous statement, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

This statement is not just for male/female relationships, it also applies to relationships with family, friends and co-workers. When a person has behaviors that tell you who they really are or they simply admit to being a certain type of person, we must believe them.  Many times we don’t believe them, and we waste our time trying to get them to change or to be someone who they are not.    There is something on the inside that makes you think that you can change them and this is why people go ahead and get married.  You can’t change a person, only God can change a person’s heart, mind and actions.

Let’s be wise and believe people the first time that they show us who they are.  We should not have to wait until they have told us 29 times.  Take heed to the actions and behaviors that are revealed, don’t ignore them.  I think we genuinely want to believe that the person really isn’t as bad as they say they are.  However, not accepting the truth only leads to hurt, pain and being disappointed.

If you have been hurt and disappointed because you didn’t believe someone when they revealed their true selves, I pray that God will heal your heart and restore you.  We must walk in truth and not be blinded.  We must see people for who they really are and act accordingly.  Yes!  God can change them, but you have a choice.  You can choose to deal with the red flags by getting married or you can pray for the person and leave them alone.  Allow God to lead you in making your decision.

Having a close relationship with God while you are in relationship with others is the key to making wise choices.  God will speak to you and reveal what is hidden if we would only listen to Him.  He has a way of showing us the red flags, but we must pay attention.  Once God reveals the truth, we must act accordingly.

Until next week . . .



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