Marriage from A to Z

Experiencing Marriage Procrastination?

You have found Mr. or Mrs. Right, you have been knowing each other for years, you have dated, met most of the family members,  spent tons of time together and in some cases, you live together but for some reason, you have not married.  What is the hold up? Marriage is serious business and should not be entered into lightly.  Often times we talk about people who have rushed into marriage however, there are some who should be married but are procrastinating.

What is the reason for the procrastination? In some cases, one is ready but the other is not.   Sometimes its fear of failure or pain from a previous relationship.  Some have witnessed so many broken marriages with their parents or other family and friends until they are afraid to get married.   One day at church, I heard a teenager say, “Why get married when just about everyone gets a divorce?” (This was her reality)  Is it money? Some procrastinate because they want to have an elaborate wedding and have to save for years to have the wedding of their dreams. In some cases people should wait, but there are a few cases where people are simply procrastinating.

What makes procrastination easy?  When a man or woman is getting everything that they desire out of the relationship without marriage,  there is little or no incentive for getting married.  If you are already living together, sleeping together, eating together and acting as if you are married, what will motivate you to get married?  Prayerfully, you will want to make things right in God’s sight.  Last week, I mentioned the verse that says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Don’t you want the favor of the Lord?   This week,  I want you to remember that marriage is honorable  (Hebrews 13:4).

When you are ready to get married, don’t keep dating someone who does not want marriage.    How long will you allow the person to string you along?  You can’t make a person commit to you.  However, when both of you are ready, here are a few things that I would highly recommend:

1. Pray and ask God about the person that you would like to marry.  Be sure that God gives you a yes before you marry.  Pay attention to the signs.
2. If having a relationship with God and going to church is a priority for you, be sure that it is also a priority for your mate before marriage.
3. Be sure that your parents and authorities are in agreement with your choice.
4. Be sure to get premarital counseling.  Counseling will bring out things that you may have never thought about.  Some things should be ironed out before marriage.
5. Observe this person when they are happy, sad, stressed, and angry.
6. Evaluate how they make decisions, work ethics, spend/save money, and manage their household.
7. Observe how they treat their family and friends.  When you see red flags, do not ignore them!
8. Pray and seek godly counsel before entering God’s holy institution.

Until next week,

Carolyn