Marriage from A to Z

Should you hurry to marry?

You have met a person who appears to be an answer to your prayers.  They have the look, job, money, car and all of the things that are appealing on the outside. They may even go to church.   Does this mean that you should hurry to marry?

Absolutely not!  Marriage is God’s wonderful institution and the Bible says that it is honorable among all (Hebrews 13:4).   Since God created marriage to last for a life time, we must take it very seriously.    Taking it seriously means spending as much time as possible gathering information and studying your potential mate.  Now I know that many of you are already married however,  this is one of the issues weighing on my heart this week.   I am sharing with hopes that you will share this post with a single friend who desires to get married.

Marriage should not be entered in a hurry.  There are many steps that should be taken before entering a marriage. However, here are a few steps to be sure to take before saying, “I do!” 

1. Get to know as much as you can about the person.  (Observe their character, conduct and their conversation for a period of time) Can you totally accept this person the way that they are?  Don’t marry with hopes of a person changing.
2. Get to know as much as you can about their family (his/her parents, siblings and family background)  Take your significant other around your parents, family and friends before you say, “I do.”  Allow the people who are most important to you to be apart of your preparation for marriage.  Listen to their observations or concerns. Pay attention to any red flags.  Hiding and secrecy about your significant other usually causes problems later.
3. Meet their parents, family members and close friends.  (You can learn so much by getting to know those who are closest to your significant other) Get the blessing of your parents or those who are authorities in your life.
4. Seek godly counsel.  Don’t marry without good pre-marital counseling.  (Pre-marital counseling helps to provide tools for a healthy marriage.  It also helps you to discuss and ask questions that you probably would not have thought about) Read good marriage preparation books and take classes to get as much knowledge as you can before you say, “I do.”
5. Maintain self-control and wait until after you are married to have sex.  Sex bonds you together before you say, “I do.”  Sex has been known to cloud one’s view and can prevent one from making a wise choice.) Remember God created sex for marriage and that true love waits!  
6. Have several conversations about the things that matter most to you.  If God is a priority for you, be sure that your significant other feels the same way.  If having children and raising a godly seed is important, express these desires up front.
7. Observe and discuss their work ethics and spending habits before you say, “I do.” Discuss your financial obligations and  commitments such as; working, tithing, saving, paying bills, loans, child support and your credit.

If you marry in a hurry nine times out of ten you will end up with worry.  So be wise and take some time to prepare before getting married.  Don’t allow anyone to rush or pressure you into getting married in a hurry.    Follow the tips and  you will have a better foundation before saying, I do.”

Until next week . . .

Carolyn