Marriage from A to Z

“Do You Give Your Undivided Attention?”

     “I am giving you my undivided attention.”  These were the words of my husband on our Saturday night date.  He said, “I am being intentional about not taking out my phone tonight.” These words were like music to my ears. There is something special about knowing that you have a person’s undivided attention.  This means that they are totally focusing on you, and you are not sharing them with something or someone else.

     Smart phones are wonderful! However, if you are not careful, you will give more of your time and attention to the phone than you do to the person sitting right in front or beside you.  I know my husband and I are both guilty of having our cell phone at the table, reading a text, email or checking out a website. However, we are becoming more aware of the need to treasure the time that we get to spend each other’s presence.  Giving your undivided attention lets a person know that they are important to you and that you value them.

    This week, I want to encourage you to be intentional about giving your undivided attention. For those who are married or have children, aim to be consistent with giving some undivided attention to your spouse and children every day.  Research says that at least 15 minutes a day of undivided attention can improve the quality of the relationship.   Take time to look into your loved one’s eyes and totally listen to what they have to say.  Get into their world by asking questions about things that concern them.   

     Here are a few tips that have helped me with giving my undivided attention to my spouse/kids:

1. Whenever your spouse enters the home don’t be on the phone. Stop and acknowledge your spouse’s presence. You can do the same with your kids.
2. When you pick your kids up from school or anywhere, be sure that you are not on the phone.   Use the car time as conversation time.  Get into their world.  
3. Have dinner together at the table as often as you can.  Look into everyone’s eyes and ask questions about their day.
4. Don’t answer the phone or watch television while you and your family are having dinner. Pay attention to everyone at the table.
5. Schedule one on one time with no distractions.  It could be date night, 15 minutes of couch time or pillow talk in the bed.
6. If you have multiple children, schedule one on one time with each.  

Until next week . . .

Carolyn