“What Is A Soul Tie?”
A few weeks ago a young lady who has been married for about 8 years asked me, “What do you do when you are married but still tied to someone you had sex with 8 years ago?” In other words, you are married but still feeling the soul ties with someone you had sex with before you got married. Her question has been ringing in my ears for the past few weeks and it has driven me to do a study and now a blog on soul ties. Is there anyone out there who can relate? As she was asking the question, I was praying asking God to give me the response. Before I get into my response, let’s define a soul tie.
A soul tie is defined as an intimate bond with another human being. It is the knitting together of two souls that can either bring a tremendous blessing in a Godly relationship or tremendous destruction when it is made with the wrong person. How does the Bible define it? The term “soul tie” is not actually used however, there are other words that are used in the Bible to refer to a soul tie. The Bible uses words like, knit together and cleave to refer to a soul tie. Both of the words refer to being close together and attached to someone. They are normally formed through close relationships, vows, commitments promises and through physical intimacy.
Let’s just focus on the relationship between a husband and a wife. When a husband and a wife are knitted close together, it is a blessing. Genesis 2:24 says, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. God wants a husband and a wife to be close, this is one of the reasons why regular physical intimacy is necessary. However, if something has happened to a husband or a wife physically or there is an illness, there are other ways to create intimacy and to bond with your spouse.
Since sex was meant to bond two people together, God never intended for two people who are not married to have sex. When this happens an ungodly soul tie can be established. So if you are having sex with person after person, you have created a bond with each one. Soul ties can be very strong and can have a negative impact on your life. For example: emotional problems, depression, tormented thoughts about a person, excessive wondering about them and rehearsing times with them in your mind. There are people who are still dealing with the soul ties of someone who they slept with 20 years ago.
There is so much to say about this topic, but I will wrap this up by sharing my response to the opening question. What do you do to break the ties of someone who is not your spouse? First you have to pray and ask God to forgive you for whatever happened to bond you with someone other than your spouse. Secondly, ask God to cleanse you and free you from the bondage. Pray that God will clean your mind, heart and detach you from any ungodly relationship. Get rid of anything that you may still have that connects you with that person (old gifts, pictures, etc.) Forgive yourself and continue to feed your mind with the Word of God. God is the only One who has the power to cleanse us and change us. He is a heart fixer and a mind regulator. (Romans 12:1-21) Any change that we really want to see has to start with a mind transformation.
In conclusion, I want to encourage every husband and wife to get as close as you can to your spouse. Tomorrow is not promised. Therefore, do what you need to do to make time for each other, communicate and physically come together as often as you can. Don’t hold grudges and ask God to help you to forgive when necessary. May God bless you to have a wonderful soul tie with your spouse!
Until next week . . .
Carolyn
Marriage from A to Z 