Marriage from A to Z

Principles for a Successful Marriage

“When A Wife Makes More Money”

     Although studies say that in 2015 female workers made 21 percent less than men who had the same occupations, there are marriages where the wife makes more money than her husband.      When this happens,  “it could” cause problems in a marriage.  How do I know?  This is an issue that has come up in many of our discussions with newlywed couples over the past 13 years.  Often times it is not addressed because few husbands will admit that it really bothers them. This may not be the case in every marriage where the wife makes more money but in some cases it is an issue.

     It doesn’t have to be an issue that creates problems, but “it could.”  A problem is created when a wife continues to bring up the fact that she makes more money. It could be in her conversation, actions and sometimes it’s done unconsciously. For example, when she goes out and  consistently spends without ever discussing the expense with her husband because she feels like, she makes more so she can spend more or when she does what she wants without considering her husband. In some cases husbands have expressed that their  wife acts as if she is the boss because she makes more money.    Some husbands feel like their wives have less respect because of their lower paycheck.

     It can also be a problem if the wife never brings it up, but the husband has a problem within his inner self.  It is something about the wife making more money that messes with a man’s self-esteem and self-worth.   I think it’s because a good man has a desire to provide for his family. He wants to feel that he is needed and not that he is simply helping his wife to provide.

     If this is an issue in your marriage or someone that you know, pray about it. If you are single and dating, please discuss this before getting married.  If you are married, take a minute to evaluate your thoughts and actions.  Have a heart to heart talk with your spouse, and be honest about your feelings. Ask God to make you sensitive to each other and to show you how to move forward without this being a problem.  Often times it is just a matter of both spouses changing their perspective.  Husbands who don’t seem to have a problem with their wives making more say that they see the money as “our” money and not just “her” money.  They also see the money as a blessing to their household when the money is equally shared.    They are self-confident and don’t allow this issue take away from their manliness.

Until next week . . .

Carolyn

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