Marriage from A to Z

Principles for a Successful Marriage

“Are you keeping score?”

If your answer is yes, what kind of score are you keeping?  Is it a positive score or a negative one?  Just like with any sport there is a scorekeeper, we tend to keep score in our relationships and in marriage.  As we strive to maximize our marriages in 2019, I want to encourage you to keep a positive score.  This simply means focus on the positive things about your spouse and marriage, not the negative.

A scorekeeper  is very attentive to the game and to the players.  He or she tracks the positive and the negative.  They are known to keep track of a players statistics such as; the number of rebounds or shots taken (positive).  On the other hand, a scorekeeper also tracks a players number of penalties and fouls (negative). As a scorekeeper in marriage you can keep track of the positives or the negatives of your spouse.  You may be thinking, I don’t keep score and that’s fine. However, one of the things that will keep you appreciative of your spouse and help you to have a happy marriage is reflecting on the positives.

Have you every heard the term “brownie points?”  Brownie points are points that  one gets for doing something good or for earning favor in the eyes of another.  When your spouse does something good or something that you appreciate, don’t take it for granted.  Take time to say thank you, show appreciation and in some cases give a reward.   Choose to focus on the good instead of the bad, the positive instead of the negatives.  Every spouse has some good points, affirm them.  Thank God for the positives and make a commitment to pray about the negatives.  Focusing on the negative points will make you dissatisfied  with your spouse and unhappy.  God doesn’t do that with us and we shouldn’t keep negative scores.  Psalm 130:3 says, “If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?

Our God is the best scorekeeper.  He sees our positives and our negatives and still loves us regardless.  Praise God He doesn’t hold our negatives against us. If you are going to keep score, keep track of all of the positive points and release the negatives.  Focusing on the good qualities and giving positive points add up to a happy marriage!

Until next week . . .

Carolyn

 

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